The "spoon theory" came to be by a woman living with Lupus. While brain injury and Lupus are two very different conditions we share common ground in experiencing extreme lack of energy or "fatigue". While I am always grateful that I have had an amazing recovery and in the big picture...I am doing quite well...my life is changed drastically. I am now a true energy conservationist...not in the green, granola sense, but rather the practical, physical sense. I try to think of the "easiest" (least energy expenditure) way to do everything now. I try to come up with activities that are still stimulating for Jack...but cost me little energy. We read a lot of books, color, practice writing, play puzzles, play with Playdo, and we have enjoyed his water table all summer. I am so happy to be able to be raising my little boy, even though I think my parenting style has changed to adapt to my limitations. Watching him grow and thrive is like medicine for my soul, and the greatest gift in the world! This rigorous energy conservation and trying to gauge my energy is a whole new concept for me. I'm not very good at gauging my energy...I just seem to reach the place of being DONE with little or no warning. I have run out of energy a few times and thankfully John was able to save me, but it is something I now think of on a daily basis. Unless you are in or have been in this situation, I think it is hard to understand or relate to. I hope someday it improves or resolves, but for now the "spoon theory" pretty much sums up what a day in my body feels like....Of course...I'm still eternally THANKFUL that I get another day...no matter how limited it might be! This certainly beats the alternative or a number of the worse scenarios we could have been faced with. I think one bonus of this whole new perspective is that the things I "get" to do have an infinitely greater meaning...there is no wasted energy around here only thoughtful desired activities get done these days.
The spoon theory is great.
ReplyDeleteIt should be mandatory reading for anyone who might come to my house with a critical eye towards my housekeeping skills. (grin)
Thankfully my kids (9 and 6) are old enough (finally) that they can often entertain their selves when I nap. We have regular babysitters, too, because I know that sometimes my fatigue can hit without warning.
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies...I hope someday we all have an unlimited number of spoons once again! :)
ReplyDeleteI hope the same for you all :)
ReplyDeletei wanted to write earlier, but left for the past month in bali only a few days after the family reunion. (internet is hard to come by) i spent much of my time at beautiful hindu temples, reflecting upon the past year, the upcoming (and passed) holidays, and nearly everything else in between. i simply wanted you to know that while things may not be how i'd ever wished, i do believe there's a tremendous amount of hope in the future. your blog characterizes your extreme strength, and often times puts me in my place when i begin to think i'm struggling with something in my own life. to see what you've overcome enables me to rationalize that i, too, can overcome my own obstacles. and, as for john, i want to thank you for our conversation. it was wonderful and i left with a very positive outlook. more so, words cannot begin to describe the emotions i felt when i saw jack walk into the room with a huge smile on his face and an endless curiosity. my gosh, he is huge now! my thoughts are seemingly wandering, but i think i'm just trying to express that even in distance, both figuratively and literally, the 3 of you are all still very close to my heart... now and always. love, britt
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