Heartbroken

It is with much sadness that I share the tragic loss of my sweet, loving, kind, witty, amazing sister Natalie Ann. We lost her a little over a week ago on Saturday, 7/27/13. Life will never be the same for our family.

This is what I tried to say at her memorial. I am so sad, it barely came out of my mouth and I'm not sure the words were audible between my sobs of despair...but I tried! Natalie we miss you and love you forever!!

In early 1983 I was an 8 year old girl. I was the “baby” of the family for as long as I knew, and I was happy in my role. But my mom told me life would change in 9 months time and there would be a new baby in the house. I was devastated at first, but my mom gently explained that I would always be her “baby” and soon our family would have more love to share. With me being completely obsessed with all things baby(For those of you that do not know me, I have always been and still am obsessed with babies. My dolls were the only toys that mattered). I was easily convinced that a new baby was just what we needed. The idea became more and more exciting with each passing month. My mom’s belly grew full with a perfect baby girl growing inside. We would read books and look at pictures of how “our baby” was developing inside. We would feel her kick and watch her move every night. I was completely enthralled. I could hardly wait for the big day when we could bring our baby home. I thought, “Wow, we get a real baby to cuddle, feed, and change.” My dolls weren’t nearly as fun as a real baby would be…I was sure! On November first 1983 it was a crisp morning, and the baby was finally coming. On the way to the hospital the sky was filled with the most amazing rainbow you have ever seen. It was a sign! The heavens were smiling down and illuminating to announce our precious angel Natalie Ann had arrived as a gift from God! She was the most beautiful, perfect baby I have ever seen and our family was now complete...it's so broken now. Over the years, I took great pride in loving and caring for my baby sister with all my heart. I wanted to help with everything. Everywhere we went people stopped us to look at and touch our "Gerber baby". As the years passed Natalie would sometimes complain that she felt she had 3 mothers and no sisters. While that made me sad, Juliet and I were so much older, I could understand her sentiment. No matter how she felt, I always loved her to pieces. I wanted the best for her. She grew into a smart, sensitive, witty, hard working, funny, kind, and amazing woman. With all she had going for her, I was certain she would find her way even as she seemed to struggle at times. I really thought she would work it out to live her dreams. I am devastated that she felt so hopeless and has left us prematurely. She wasn’t finished. There is so much more to life than she got to experience. My heart is broken and there is a piece missing that only she can fill. Dearest Natalie, please know how much you mean to us, how much you are loved, how sorry we are that we couldn’t help you, and know you are missed deeply until we meet again.